


The In Betweens

by yuri_chan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (Ch.4 Specifically), Anxiety, Coming of Age, Dubious Consent, Established Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, will they won't they
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25284304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuri_chan/pseuds/yuri_chan
Summary: A love letter to the grey areas in relationships- Kageyama sometimes wishes his brain would stop working (or for someone to just explain to him what they really mean!)(potential t/w: Dubious consensual interactions scattered throughout the work! Some more explicit than others.)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	1. 12 Hour Differences

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be like a quick and dirty one-shot but it's kind of devolved into a sort of fucked up love letter of sorts to Kageyama and all of the anxieties that come with trying to figure out interpersonal relationships! 
> 
> I've tried to fact check as much as possible but, please give a girl a pass if there's any details that are off. c:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yamayama-kun, you know, I think I miss you the most out of everyone.” Hinata breathes into the phone. Kageyama stands across the crosswalk from the practice arena, waiting for the light to change.

Kageyama has never once considered the nature of his relationship with Hinata. Which, no matter how he phrases it, sounds inconsiderate. 

No, but the truth is, Kageyama has truly and honestly, never once considered the nature of his relationship with Hinata. At least not until he ventures back home for a weekend and finds out that both Sugawara and Daichi are back in Miyagi as well.

“Kageyama!” Sugawara calls, waving from further down the road and Kageyama’s head snaps to attention. 

“Sawamura-san, Sugawara-san,” Kageyama greets, bowing with his arms by his side, the nylon-cotton of his white Schweiden Adlers jacket making a satisfactory  _ schwip-schwip  _ sound as he approaches his two upperclassmen from back in Karasuno High School.

“Daichi, Daichi look at his jacket!” Suga jumps excitedly, bouncing around Kageyama and pulling at the jacket. “He’s all pro and hot stuff now!” 

Daichi laughs at Kageyama’s face, which is twisted in an amusing mix of embarrassment and shame, but a little pride. 

“He’s right, pro-volleyball looks good on you.” Daichi agrees, which Kageyama seems to perk at, still blushing at the praise. 

“Shall we?” Kageyama stutters, formally, gesturing to the little cafe the three had agreed upon meeting at which Daichi nods at.

“So? How is it like to be on Ushijima’s team?” Suga asks, after they’ve all had their orders taken. To Daiichi’s amusement Kageyama orders milk with their desserts,  _ he still hasn’t changed much at all.  _

“It’s—” Kageyama swallows his milk, “It’s really good.” Daichi and Sugawara sit back, watching as Kageyama starts talking animatedly about being on the esteemed D1 team.

“Ushijima’s so cool, did you know his vertical jump has improved? He goes all gwaak and then it hits the ground like baam!” Kageyama rambles, fingers twitching as he tries to describe just how powerful it feels to toss to one of the greatest opposite hitters in Japan right now. Daichi chuckles as he sips on his americano, absently cutting into the cheesecake with his mouth and handing off the Suga. 

“Kageyama you’re sounding an awful lot like Hinata now,” Suga comments, taking the cheesecake bite into his mouth, “Speaking of which, he’s in Brazil right now, isn’t he?” 

Kageyama sits back, taking the glass of milk in between his hands and topping it off, “Oh yeah, he’s in Brazil right now… he met Oikawa-san there and they played a game on the beach but he’s going to be coming back next month.” He supposes that he’s picked up some of Hinata’s speech patterns, considering Suga’s offhand statement.

Daichi blinks, exchanging a glance with Suga, “Have you kept in contact with him? I’ve just been watching his posts on SNS.” 

“Yeah,  _ dummy _ calls me on my way to practice every morning because it’s night for him. I still can’t believe he played with Oikawa-san—” 

“Kageyama, you and Hinata call,  _ everyday? _ ” Sugawara says, excitement evident in his voice. Kageyama shrugs. 

“Shoyo says he gets really lonely and homesick so I tried to call him more often, and I don’t know we just started doing it every day… but! It was mostly because I wanted to know how good Oikawa-san was after I’d heard he’d gone to Argentina—”

“ _ Shoyo…  _ No, go back to what Hinata’s been up too.” Suga says, side-eyeing Daichi. The ex-Karasuno captain rolls his eyes, smile betraying his mock-disgruntled look as he realizes what Suga is implying.

“Um, well, let’s see… he’s been playing beach volleyball and he says it was really hard at first, he’s close to Nicollas Romero-san.” Kageyama pouts at this, secretly jealous of the orange-head in question, “he’s doing delivery work and lives with someone named Pedero? Pedro?” Kageyama takes another breath.

“Oh also, he’s going to be staying in my apartment in Oita after he comes back from Brazil in three months.” Kageyama shrugs again. 

“Kageyama—” Daichi interrupts, chuckling as he watches the younger boy ramble on and on.

“Say, Kageyama, what’s your relationship with Hinata?” Suga cuts off Daichi, slyly leaning forward. Daichi rolls his eyes, again, tired but always amused by his boyfriend’s antics.

To both of their surprise though, the look Kageyama gives them is one of only confusion.

“What do you mean, Suga-san?” the boy asks, cocking his head, eyebrows crinkled together.

“I mean, you’ve kept awfully close to Hinata… so what’s the nature of your relationship with him?”

Kageyama’s mind reels at this question. Hinata and him must be… well, they weren’t teammates anymore, they’re still rivals, in some sense. Kageyama’s been secretly hoping Hinata will get scouted by one of the teams in the Volleyball division, though it’s something he hasn’t braved asking Shoyo during their phone calls.  _ Are we friends?  _ Kageyama thinks to himself as he kicks at the road on his way home from the cafe. 

_ “Yamayama-kun, you know, I think I miss you the most out of everyone.” Hinata breathes into the phone. Kageyama stands across the crosswalk from the practice arena, waiting for the light to change.  _

_ “Don’t call me that.” Kageyama gripes which Hinata pointedly seems to ignore.  _

_ “When I come back, can I come see you?” Hinata asks quietly, and Kageyama can tell that Hinata's starting to doze off. There was a 12 hour difference between Brazil and Japan, at least that’s what the clock app told him when he first added Rio de Janeiro.  _

_ “Do you know yet what you’re doing once you’re back in Japan?” Kageyama asks in reply, eyes glancing as he starts crossing the road.  _

_ “Hmm… no.” Hinata hums, a little sadder and maybe a little more defeated sounding this time. It makes Kageyama frown a little.  _

_ “You should come.” Kageyama says, without thinking. “I have enough room in my apartment, you can stay for a bit—” _

_ “Tobio!! Does this mean we’ll be roommates??” Hinata asks, suddenly much more excited now. It’s been years and Kageyama still isn’t used to Hinata’s sudden manic highs. _

_ “O-Oh… yeah, I guess so?” Kageyama replies absentmindedly, cringing a little as Hinata starts loudly rambling into his ear.  _

_ “Well, if we’re roommates you better hang out with me… Pedro still isn’t too talkative and it makes me feel so lonely.” _

Kageyama pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps at the screen. 

_ So we must be roommates at least.  _ Kageyama decides, scrolling through his SNS until he finds the picture of Hinata and Oikawa on the beach. He taps on the profile and scrolls through until he finds that first picture Shoyo posted. It’s a shot of him and Hinata on the court, one of those action shots. Yachi had gotten a good camera as a graduation and congratulatory gift from her mother for getting into her dream design school, so she had brought it in one day to practice taking pictures with. Kageyama zooms in on Hinata’s face and then clicks his phone off.  _ Soon to be roommates.  _

Kageyama wonders if roommates are also friends.


	2. A Friendship in a Roommate, and Other Places as Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama’s phone buzzes again, and he glances at it. It’s Hinata again with another strand of emojis. There’s a pink heart and a yellow one and one with a blue arrow through it. Then a string of three red hearts.

Two weeks before Hinata was due home from Brazil, Kageyama had already started to fuss. It’s been really long since he’s had people over— the last person, probably his manager and Hirugami-san, neither of which could care less, though his manager had given him grief about the dust that had been settling on his shelves.

_ I should wipe these down,  _ Kageyama thinks to himself, running a finger and leaving trails behind.  _ I’m pretty sure Hinata’s allergic to dust anyways. _

Kageyama blinks at that sudden thought, and shakes his head out.  _ No. I’m just trying to be a good host. Or a good roommate?  _

Kageyama is mid-wipe, tissues and a small trash can in hand (his manager was right to nag him… he didn’t even have proper cleaning supplies in his apartment) when his phone starts ringing. He startles at this, glancing at an equally dusty clock. It was late for Hinata to be calling.

“Hello?” Kageyama says, answering the phone with his left hand.

“Tobio!” Hinata’s voice sounds over the phone. It sounds lazy, almost like Hinata’s tongue has grown twice its size and was now too big for his mouth.

“ _ Boke,  _ isn’t it like three in the morning right now?” Kageyama asks, glancing back at the clock again.

“It iss— I’m out with some friends!” Hinata slurs. Kageyama can hear him shushing someone in the background. 

Kageyama tosses the dirtied tissue into the trash can and flops back on his bed, “Are you… okay?” 

“Mmhmm! I decided to get a goodbye dinner with Pedro and some of the guys I’ve been playing on the beach… we got some drinks so I got distracted and almost forgot to call you tonight Yamayama!” 

“Don’t call me that—” Kageyama retorts without thinking, then pauses. “You should go have fun with them… call me when you get home though.” 

“Oh kay! Yamayama!” Hinata sings through the phone, “I miss you a lot!” 

Kageyama’s stomach flops at the confession. It wasn’t something new that Hinata hadn’t said to him before, but somehow the fact that Hinata was…  _ drunk _ made it a little different. 

“Bye,” Kageyama says, quietly, and he hears Hinata hang up, “Stay safe.” 

All of a sudden Suga-san’s question resurfaces in his mind.  _ “So what’s the nature of your relationship with him?” _

Kageyama stares at the ceiling as he thinks about the question again. 

_ Well, he’s my rival. I guess he’s going to be my roommate, too.  _

Kageyama thinks about how Hinata had called Pedro a friend. And from what he knew, Pedro wasn’t even that close with Hinata. 

_ I guess that means Hinata’s my friend, also. _

That was new. Kageyama hasn’t had that many friends in his entire life. He thinks back to Kitagawa Daiichi and cringes. Then the Karasuno volleyball team.  _ I suppose some of them might be my friends?  _ Kageyama furrows his eyebrows.  _ How confusing. _

He pulls his phone back out. Hinata has spammed him with lines of emojis, there’s some sparkles and fairies, even that one face with the big pouty eyes.  _ It kind of reminds him of Hinata.  _ Kageyama falters for a moment as he stares at the red heart at the end of the line. A heart. He wonders if friends are supposed to send hearts to each other.

He scrolls through the lines of contacts on his phone. _Azumane Asahi . Miya Atsumu. Sawamura Daichi. Sakusa Kiyoomi._ _Yamaguchi Tadashi. Yachi Hitoka. Sugawara Koshi… Tsukishima Kei._ Tsukkishima would most definitely make fun of him. Kageyama shakes his head as he continues. _Hoshiumi Korai. Kozume Kenma._

But Tsukishima would probably give him the most straightforward answer. Kageyama steels his hands and begins typing.

Hello.

I have a question.

_ Kageyama Tobio _

_ 3:11 PM _

The fuck. King?? 

Why are you asking me?

Did you get into an accident?

Who are you.?

Ah, shit.

_ Tsukishima Kei _

_ 3:12 PM _

Kageyama blinks as frantic message bubbles pop up his screen.

  
I have a question.

Are we friends?

_ Kageyama Tobio _

_ 3:12 PM _

What the fuck. Uh.

_ Tsukishima Kei _

_ 3:13 PM _

Kageyama grips his phone anxiously, his stomach dropping as he watches Tsukkishima’s text bubble appear, then disappear, then appear again. 

I guess so.

_ Tsukishima Kei _

_ 3:15 PM _

Kageyama stares at the text.  _ So I guess Tsukishima’s my friend. I guess there must be some of the Karasuno team that must be my friend too.  _ He absently puts his phone down on his chest. Does this mean that his Adlers teammates were also his friends?  _ How confusing.  _

OK.

_ Kageyama Tobio _

_ 3:16 PM _

  
  


He leaves the conversation with Tsukkishima like that. But it makes him think about Kuroo-san and Akaashi-san and especially Bokuto-san from the MSBY Black Jackals.  _ Are they friends too? Or are they just rivals?  _ His mind jumps back to Hinata and Oikawa on the beach.  _ What about Oikawa-san? _

Kageyama’s phone buzzes again, and he glances at it. It’s Hinata again with another strand of emojis. There’s a pink heart and a yellow one and one with a blue arrow through it. Then a string of three red hearts.

_ I guess friends can send each other hearts.  _

Kageyama taps on his own emoji keyboard and scrolls through the options. He likes the red one. He feels like it means a little bit more somehow, but it doesn’t feel like a bad thing necessarily. Kageyama taps  _ send.  _

Hinata puts a like on his message and sends him a big smiley face. It makes Kageyama feel better about the whole thing. He clicks his phone off and turns back to his dusty shelves. Shaking his head, Kageyama grabs his jacket arm off the chair and shrugs it on before shuffling out of his apartment to the convenience store. 

* * *

Kageyama sits in the locker room backpack on his shoulders as he waits for the rest of his teammates to clear out. He’s staring at the hearts again on Hinata’s messages and thinking. 

Ushijima walks by, and normally Kageyama tries to stay out of the spiker’s way, but he sticks his arm out and grabs Ushijima’s jacket arm. The elder turns back, regarding Kageyama with blunt eyes. Kageyama turns his phone to show him the picture of Oikawa and Hinata. Ushijima’s face is still schooled, but he nods and starts to walk away again. Kageyama holds him back though. 

“Ushijima-san…” Kageyama starts, nervously licking his lips. “uh… are we friends?”

Ushijima’s face still doesn’t change and it makes Kageyama nervous. 

Ushijima stares Kageyama down for that much longer, and it makes Kageyama’s skin crawl as his anxiety sets in. Finally, Ushijima nods, once, and Kageyama releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Kageyama wonders if the other Adlers are his friends too.


	3. Everything Spinny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He regards Ushijima for another moment. Kageyama wonders if he’s partial to the elder’s company because sometimes he misses Miyagi a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some t-t-t-tension between Ushijima and Kageyama. This came out of left field. But, it made sense to me in the moment!

It’s not often that the Schweiden Adlers lose, but when it does, it always hurts. It isn’t the same vicious sting he used to feel in high school, no, it’s developed to a dull kind of throb… a kind of soreness. 

Kageyama’s ears are still ringing from the referee’s whistle and he swears the rest of the arena just fades from his vision.  _ Shit. This sucks. _ His downward spiral is interrupted by a warm heavy hand on his back, and he starts, turning to look at Ushijima-san. He drags his feet back towards the rest of the team.

That night, the post-game dinner is a funny, bittersweet, mixed bag of feelings. Hoshiumi is trying to flag down another server because he wants another round, in high spirits. Or as high spirits as you could be when you’ve lost a big game. Losing was never Kageyama’s strong suit though, and he pouts into his apple juice— his teammate’s version of a joke since he’s currently the youngest on the team and the only one still not legal. Both Romero-san and Hoshiumi-san let him sip from their drinks though, Romero specifically winking, “In Brazil it’s 18!” 

The combination leaves Kageyama feeling woozy, cheeks flushed and warm from his odd mix of beverage choices. All of a sudden the room starts to move in slow motion and he stands up, pulling on his Adlers puffer jacket and grabbing his phone. 

_ “You okay?” _ Romero-san mouths to him, and Kageyama nods furtively, pointing towards the outside. Romero hands him an unopened water bottle and Kageyama nods again, thanking him. 

The room spins that much more when he stands up, and Kageyama stumbles on his own feet as he walks determinedly towards the balcony. The cool air hits him all of a sudden, and it sobers him up enough to recognize Ushijima-san’s form leaning on the side. 

Ushijima nods in regard when he finally senses Kageyama. Kageyama quickly bows his head in greeting. 

Taking little steps, Kageyama creeps up just next to Ushijima and looks out on the city. It’s nice, still, from this distance. He struggles with the water bottle for a second before it gets taken out of his hands.

“Hold this.” Ushijima quietly instructs, and Kageyama holds the intimidating brown bottle in his two hands. It’s cold outside, but there’s still a bit of condensation.  _ Asahi. Super Dry.  _ Kageyama reads, smiling. He wonders what “super dry” means. Maybe it’s the alcohol sloshing in his stomach that makes him think about Azumane-san for a second, too. 

“Can I have some?” Kageyama asks, ignoring the childish lilt that has overtaken his usual curt speaking style. Ushijima warily regards him, open bottle of water in hand. 

“Ah— sorry.” Kageyama says quickly. Ushijima seemed like someone who would be partial to rules. 

“Go ahead, I already caught Hoshiumi and Romero-san earlier.” Ushijima replies, gently, recapping the bottle cap. It catches Kageyama off guard, but he doesn’t hesitate, taking a little mouthful. Then another one. He wrinkles his nose. It doesn't really taste good… but he takes another little mouthful. 

He regards Ushijima for another moment. Kageyama wonders if he’s partial to the elder’s company because sometimes he misses Miyagi a lot.

“Do you like it?” Ushijima asks, Kageyama shakes his head, but takes one last baby sip before handing it back. It makes Ushijima chuckle.

“Then why are you still drinking it?” He teases, pulling the beer bottle out of the setter’s hands and handing him the water. The action is foreign to Kageyama, who’s used to Ushijima being blunt and cold. Kageyama gulps the water down gratefully.

“It makes my brain stop doing it’s thing,” Kageyama slurs, putting down the water bottle with two hands. “and it makes everything spinny.” 

Ushijima sometimes forgets how young Kageyama is. It’s kind of a hypocritical statement because he, too, is young. But he’s had an almost two year head start in the professional volleyball world, and the distance between 19 and 22 is bigger than just two and a little more years. 

They’ve spent enough time together in practice for Ushijima to know that Kageyama has wicked anxiety on the court. He doesn’t know the full details, but it’s the kind of specific anxiety he sort of understands too. Ushijima wonders if it extends off the court, but he supposes Kageyama isn’t the type to separate volleyball from ‘real life.’

“You did well today.” Ushijima ventures to comment, tearing his eyes away from Kageyama, who’s puffer jacket sleeve is slipping off his shoulder. 

“No, I messed up.” Kageyama says resolutely, and Ushijima lets himself turn back again. He can’t help himself but pull the younger boy’s jacket sleeve up. Kageyama reaches for the beer bottle again, and Ushijima tugs it out of his reach.

“Drink your water.” 

Kageyama pouts.  _ God.  _ Ushijima looks away quickly.

They stand there silently for a while. Ushijima looks out on the city. Kageyama spins his head around to watch the lights pulse. He thinks maybe he feels a little sick. The setter pulls out his phone to check the time, but when he unlocks his lockscreen, it opens to a social media post— the one of Hinata and Oikawa again. 

Kageyama wants to _ call him _ . 

“What? Oikawa?” Ushijima asks, and Kageyama blinks.  _ Did he say that out loud?  _ He feels like his mouth is moving a mile a minute and he isn’t even talking.

“N-nothing.” Kageyama stutters and Ushijima doesn’t question any further. The lights on the street pulse.


	4. Lover Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima-san smells good, would he taste the way he smells? If Kageyama is being honest, Ushijima Wakatoshi is deadly attractive. Kageyama thinks he might want to kiss him— 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will they won't they? there's an implication of dubious consent, but no moves are made! Ushijima is a respectful man.

“How much did you let him drink?” A low rumbling voice says from his side. Kageyama blearily tries to figure out who the solid figure he’s leaning on is. It sounds like Ushijima.  _ Ushijima smells nice.  _ Kageyama decides. He doesn’t remember how he got here.

“I’ll get him back to the hotel. I’m planning on turning in, too, anyways.” The voice continues to rumble. Kageyama rubs his cheek on soft cotton fabric. More than he likes to admit it, he secretly really likes the Adlers athlete apparel. 

“Woah, woah, lover boy, did we give you that much?” another voice says from Kageyama’s left side. It’s Romero, who pats his head and it makes Kageyama coo a little on the inside. He’s surrounded by a plethora of older, extremely talented, and athletically powerful men, and Kageyama masks his attraction behind deep unadulterated respect.

“Take care of him. You got enough for the taxi?” Romero asks.

Next thing he knows, Kageyama’s in a moving car, head propped determinedly on Ushijima’s shoulder. He feels a little too sick, a little too warm, his cheeks are blazing hot.  _ The sun!  _ Kageyama thinks about Hinata again. 

_ I wish I could call him!  _

Kageyama snuggles, more and more and more into Ushijima who wraps an arm around the younger. By the time they’re back to the hotel, it’s practically Ushijima carrying Kageyama, who’s still clutching his phone and the half drunk bottle of water. 

_ Ushijima-san smells good, would he taste the way he smells?  _

Ushijima get’s Kageyama back into his room, taking the thick puffer jacket off of the younger’s arms, whispering soothing words as Kageyama coughs and then sniffles into the crook of his neck. He swears he can smell Kageyama’s shampoo and something else that’s soft, almost like milk. 

“Ushijima-san— can I call you, please? I would like someone to call, I— I wanna—” Kageyama starts, tearily now. Ushijima blinks. He feels unequipped to deal with this version of Kageyama he’s meeting for the first time. 

“Why would you call me if I’m already right here?” Ushijima asks, gently. He usually tries to maintain a brusque and professional front, but Ushijima has a feeling that Kageyama’s emotional state needed something more forgiving. And Ushijima has a soft spot for the younger boy anyways. 

Kageyama seems like he’s about to reply, but then he does a telltale little gulp and Ushijima barely gets the garbage can under the younger boy before he starts to hack up dinner.  _ Poor thing.  _ Ushijima smiles sadly, leading the tearful younger boy to the bathroom and letting him puke up the rest into the toilet. Ushijima runs a hand through Kageyama’s bangs, and rubs his back as he watches Kageyama gulp for air. 

“I promise you’ll feel better after you’re done.” Ushijima comforts, remembering the first time he had drunk so much that he puked. 

The elder spiker has a moment of pride when he manages to clean Kageyama up and change him into non-puke-y clothes in record time. He feels bad, the sick you feel from drinking alcohol was its own special kind of sick, and the sheen of sweat on Kageyama’s face tells him the boy is really feeling it. 

Kageyama is apparently a clingy drunk on top of teary, and Ushijima allows the younger to tightly grip his arms and press his face into his neck. Kageyama gets close, so close and it makes Ushijima falter for half a second, almost giving into soft lips and ruddy cheeks. But he carries on convincing Kageyama to get into his bed.

“C-can we be friends? Do you think we’re friends? Do you like me?” Kageyama starts asking desperately again, and it reminds Ushijima of that strange question from a couple days ago.

“Of course we are,” Ushijima placates, finally releasing himself from Kageyama’s grabby hands, “And of course I like you.”

“So you wouldn’t be mad if I called you?” Kageyama asks. Ushijima furrows his eyebrows together.  _ If Kageyama is being honest, Ushijima Wakatoshi is deadly attractive.  _ Kageyama thinks he might want to kiss him— 

“No, I wouldn’t be mad at something like that.” 

Kageyama surges forward, swollen lips and hazy eyes pinpointing onto the elder’s lips. Ushijima flinches as he instinctively tries to push the other boy off with a forced gentleness, trying hard not to hurt him, but Kageyama presses forward insistently. It makes the rookie setter’s face pinch into a pitiful expression and he loosens like a ragdoll; chin hooking onto Ushijima’s shoulder as he chokes on a sob. 

For a while they sit like this: Kageyama anchoring onto his bottom lip, trying hard to no avail to stop crying; Ushijima furiously trying to process the situation at hand.  _ He’s just intoxicated… it means nothing more!  _ But a wave of guilt washes over him. 

The elder starts to move slowly, shifting gently until he’s against the headboard, sinking lower. Kageyama’s breath shudders and Ushijima freezes. 

Finally, he manages to half roll Kageyama off of his chest, convincing the boy to finally settle into his pillow. As soon as he’s free, Ushijima darts away, as if he’s been burned. He makes quick work of cleaning up the bathroom and the hotel room. Filling up the water bottle. Digging the phone out of Kageyama’s jacket. Ushijima forces himself to hyperfocus on the task at hand and resolutely replaces the bag in the trash can just in case Kageyama puked again. 

Ushijima was just finishing up drafting a text to the Captain and Romero, telling them they got back safely, when Kageyama stirs a little in his sleep. The elder settles into an armchair in the corner of the hotel room. For a second he berates himself for being creepy, but Ushijima is a little more worried about Kageyama choking in his sleep. 

As Ushijima is dozing off in the armchair, Adlers jacket draped over his upper body, he regards Kageyama one more time. 

In a different world, in a different reality, in a different circumstance, Wakatoshi wonders if he would have made a move on Kageyama. He wonders if he was a little weaker tonight, drunker, he would have maybe given in. He thinks about little Kageyama standing up against his own younger self. Tendou, Shirabu… He wonders how they’re doing these days. And that tiny Hinata, who had slipped his mind until Kageyama had shown him that picture.  _ Brazil, huh.  _ Brazil is so far away.

Ushijima startles awake at the sound of a cell phone ringing brightly. He blinks against soft morning light, trying to figure out where he is when he remembers all the events of last night. Ushijima shrugs on his jacket and walks towards the sound of the ringtone— it’s Kageyama’s phone— and he flips it over and glances at the caller ID:  _ Hinata Shoyo. _

_ Speak of the devil!  _ Ushijima thinks to himself as he glances back at the sleeping Kageyama. He’d rather not wake the younger up right now. Instead, he writes a note on a little hotel notepad

_ Take some advil if you feel sick. Drink water. _

Ushijima hesitates again.  _ Brazil is  _ so  _ far away.  _

_ Hinata Shoyo called earlier.  _

Then he lets himself out. It’s early, barely 6:30 in the morning. Ushijima rides the elevator up a floor to his room, cleans himself up, and climbs into bed with a slightly aching guilty conscience and an aching neck. 

**Author's Note:**

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